ACT OF VALOR

This is an action movie about Navy Seals that stars real active duty Navy Seals instead of actors.  Navy Seals are as good at being in the Navy as they are bad at acting.  I think the writers of the film might have been plucked at random from another profession too.  The plot concerns Islamic terrorists teaming up with Latin American drug dealers to smuggle suicide bombers over the US-Mexican border.  If that story sounds like it was ripped form a Chuck Norris TV movie and would be at odds with the supposed realism of this film, yes.

THE GREY

Director Joe Carnahan re-teams with his The A-Team star Liam Neeson in this tale of men battling the elements; specifically battled are plane crashes, soul crushing misery, jerks, snow, heights, and wolves.  Neeson is a capable badass, delivering lines like "In about five seconds I'm gonna start beating the shit out of you" with steely resolve and appropriate menace, but the film ultimately fails him.  The direction is distracted/distracting, the threats are inconsistent and occasionally outright goofy, and before long I was hoping they would start eating each other because the damn wolves weren't doing it fast enough.

THE PUPPET MONSTER MASSACRE

Remember Team America: World Police?  Of course you do.  Well that was a puppet action movie that cost 30 million dollars and had a hard R-rating all but guaranteeing that even if it made a profit it would labeled a ‘fascinating failure’ or ‘cult classic’.  Well here is another R-rated puppet movie, but this time the genre is horror instead of action and the budget is about 31 million dollars less.  The box touts the film as a “wild and raucous love letter to the monster films of the glorious 1980s” but I find that claim highly dubious.

Find out how dubious at CHUD.com

RED TAILS

We are not in this movie much.

This movie might become a staple of middle and high school history classes on rainy afternoons.  Who knows if the kids will enjoy it?  This is producer George Lucas's pet project over 20 years in the making, about the Tuskegee Airmen, the first black pilots in WWII who combated enemy troops and institutional racism.  It's nowhere near as good as the original Star Wars trilogy but it's nowhere near as bad as the new Star Wars trilogy, fitting somewhat comfortably in between those two extremes.  It's got a likeable ensemble cast, intentionally funny moments, unintentionally funny moments, exciting dogfights and enough corn to fill a silo.  Gee whiz!

HAYWIRE

Steven Soderbergh delivers unconventional movies even with conventional material.  Here is a punch-kick-punch movie about 'one last job' and 'who sold us out damn it!' but of course, since it's Soderbergh, there are unusual choices: fractured chronology, smooth jazz score and a non-actor as the lead.  Mixed Martial Arts star Gina Carano debuts admirably if not woodenly as an action star who looks much more credible beating people's asses than the average underfed Hollywood starlet.  Despite being called Haywire, the movie is unfortunately inert and somehow feels like less than the sum of its interesting but not altogether arresting parts.