MACHETE MAIDENS UNLEASHED (2010)

This is the funniest film I've seen in quite some time.  And it's a documentary.  Don't let that scare you away.  The subject is the glut of American made-exploitation films shot in the Philippines, starting with blood soaked monster movies (like the Blood Island trilogy) and sweaty sexy prison romps (like Women In Cages) during the 60's and leading up to the end of the 70's and the unofficial greatest Filipino exploitation movie ever made, Apocalypse Now.  Why were movies made there and why is this a brilliant subject for a documentary?  Let me answer that with a quote from the film that comes pretty early on, courtesy of producer Jon Davison: "Human life was cheap, film was cheap, it was a great place to make a picture."

You see, the USA liberated the Philippines from Japanese occupation during WWII and even amongst occupying armies the Japanese have a pretty shitty reputation.  So grateful were the Filipinos, that being paid peasant wages to work tirelessly on schlocky movies was considered an amazing opportunity.  The greedy dictator Ferdinand Marcos so routinely lent the army to film productions, that during behind the scenes footage from Apocalypse Now, Francis Ford Coppola can be seen petulantly pouting that the helicopters he needs for a shot have been called off to bomb rebel camps.

If you're still not convinced, enjoy a few of these choice quotes and anecdotes.  Don't worry, they are mostly from the first fifteen minutes, so the movie still has plenty of hilarious surprises in store for you.

~ Quentin Tarantino does not appear in this film; how do you kids feel about John Landis?  He gets some great gems in: "I think everyone's affection for those movies is based in... tolerance."

~ Everybody has guns, then and now.  Even the makeup men carry 45's apparently.

~ How do you find a good demolitions expert?  Since you won't be speaking the same language, count their fingers: ten = hire, any less = pass.

~ Benefits package?  If you get busted up too bad to work, they slip a five peso note in your shirt pocket and send you home.

~ Joe Dante: "[these movies] look like they were made on another planet."

~ Sid Haig: "I saw a rat carrying a kitten through a window."

~ Sid Haig: "We were using military trained attack dogs.  The director of photography went in with his light meter to get a reading on the dog and the dog ate it."

~ Just wait until you get a load of Weng Weng.

~ Director Mark Hartley also made a commentary about the historic exploitation film market of his native Australia entitled Not Quite Hollywood which does feature Quentin Tarantino.