Saturday, July 2

THE TEN (2006)

Non-horror anthology films also tend to be under-appreciated.  People really must not like learning new names every few minutes.  This movie is basically The State: The Motion Picture, even more so than Wet Hot American Summer because this movie's format most closely resembles the sketch comedy style of television.  You get one story for each commandment, although the link isn't always super clear, along with interstitial tales in front of giant prop copies of the commandments.  Including a short animated sequence and a lavish show-stopping musical number with all the characters and more, there is a lot happening in only 96 minutes so you definitely won't get bored.

Whether or not you laugh is another story.  I laughed at some stories and none at others but that's just the nature of the format.  The first story is pretty funny.  I think its a parody of reality stars who haven't done anything but are still famous.  Adam Brody plays a man famous because he literally can't do anything, after getting wedged in the ground during a skydiving accident.  Winona Ryder is his girlfriend, Ron Silver is his lawyer who reminds me that it's a shame Ron Silver died, and there is quick cameo from Jon Hamm-eo.

The second story has Gretchen Mol's librarian travel to Mexico where she is seduced by Justin Theroux's Jesus Christ.  Theroux's Jesus appears in the background of churches and peoples homes in the other segments which is a nice touch.  The third story has Ken Marino as a doctor who insists that the patient that died in his care was not malpractice, but rather a practical joke.  The fourth story has Kerri Kenney-Silver admitting to her children that their real father is Arnold Schwarzenegger.  In the end it turns out she's wrong.  I bet Arnold wishes that part happened in real life.

The fifth story has Liev Schreiber and Joe Lo Truglio as dueling neighbors who collect numerous CAT Scan machines to spite one another; this is another strong segment because Schreiber and Truglio commit so much to the ludicrous premise that it almost feels like a lost segment from a real, but stupid, eighties movie about suburban feuds.  The sixth story is about Ken Marino's doctor in prison trying to date Rob Corddry.  The seventh story finds Winona Ryder in love with a ventriloquist's dummy.

The eighth story is another strong one.  Homeless junkies try to tell the story of Lying Rhino, which is either some variety of heroin, the dealer who supplies it, an actual rhino that lies all the time, or a combination of all three.  Their story is told in animation, with H. Jon Benjamin voicing the Rhino through a riff on the Boy Who Cried Wolf story except twisted and depraved almost beyond recognition.

The ninth story is sort of the summation of the previous interstitial stories, featuring Paul Rudd as a man who leaves his wife Famke Janssen for his girlfriend Jessica Alba and then later claims he is dating Dianne Wiest.  The tenth story has A.D. Miles and Bobby Canavale as buddies who just want to get naked and listen to Roberta Flack, inspiring a movement of like-minded men who join together in song and dance in a big number which morphs into a closing number with the whole cast and numerous cameos.  There's also a song during the credits that incorporates the cast's names and summarizes the movie for you.

Wow that's a whole bunch of shit.  Not bad for 96 minutes.  It can be pretty hit-or-miss, but since stories change so fast and the jokes come even faster there's always something new to laugh at.  Not for most people apparently; this movie was a big flop.  I heard Michael Showalter explain to Marc Maron on the WTF Podcast that on every project he and his fellow State members had been involved with they were sure each time they had constructed a mainstream hit and not a niche cult classic but somehow it always turned out the other way.  This movie comes as close as it can to making that impossible to believe.

All the characters and segments are inter-related so I almost wonder if this movie could have dropped the frame story and just done all the tales in one big world, maybe as a hyperlink movie like Magnolia.  It already had the huge cast for it.  In addition to who I already mentioned, Rashida Jones, Jason Sudeikis, Thomas Lennon, David Wain, Michael Showalter, Andrea Rosen, Chris Wylde, Robert Ben Garant, Zak Orth, Mather Zickel, Janeane Garofalo, Kevin Allison, Michael Ian Black and a photo of Michael Patrick Jann all make appearances; I might have forgot somebody.  This movie has jokes about vitamins, so it might be too white even for white people, but fans of The State or Stella or Reno 911 will certainly enjoy it, or at least some of it.  There's also a great joke about folding paper and I'm a sucker for jokes about folding paper.

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